So now the skank is posting pictures of my cat licking herself and she comments how she wishes she were a cat. Jesus Julio, how low can you go! Now I want my cat back as well. I trusted that you would do right but that is something you are obviously incapable of doing. You just keep sinking...I refuse to let your latest flavor of the month bond or have any relations with any of my animals that I love so dearly. If you were actually seeing someone who was descent, this would not be an issue...and if you would have been honest and let know before finding out on FB, I might have overlooked it. But no, not you...the man with all the secrets...you are such a hypocrite...I pray that one day, you will be the man that you try to pretend to be. One who really values the friendships in your life, one who doesn't have to buy your friends with money and food and drinks. What happened to you? I know you want to be that person, but you do not allow yourself to be. Instead you lie and cheat on those who really cared and chose superficial people to surround yourself with. As a result, you will always have to watch your back...they will be standing in line to take advantage of you. You had a true friend here in me and you blew it with all your lies and deceptions. Were you so ashamed of yourself that you couldn't tell me? Anyway, it is all done. Be happy with your skank...
My ten things I am grateful for today...
1. That my cold is getting better.
2. That even though it is cold as all, it is a beautiful day.
3. That I am not as angry as I was last week and am almost to the point where my anger has turned to pity and looking forward to being able to let it go and forgive.
4. Each day putting my painful past further and further behind me.
5. That my husband may not be perfect, but he truly loves me and would never cheat on me.
6. That I am able to pay my bills this week!
7. That it is almost Christmas...my absolute favorite time of the year!
8. That I know I will deal with tomorrow with a better understanding of and about today or yesterday!
9. That in my heart, I know I am a good person, who sometimes makes mistakes but am able to forgive myself and move on.
10. That I have great friends who understand that sometimes I freak out and accept me anyway.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Still trying to get my bird back
You know, each day that goes by, I am getting stronger and stronger. Finally realizing the extent of the control and mind games this idiot had over me. I am trying very hard not to be angry, as anger is a negative energy that I do not need in my life. So because I am doing what I need to do, I guess he is feeling out of control and trying to control me in different ways, because after 18 years, he know which buttons to push. Not going to work this time...I am stronger and wiser. Don't have time for this anymore. Taking my control back and never allowing anyone to ever have that power over me again. Nothing left to use against me for leverage except my bird. So I guess I need to get an attorney after all. Perhaps this time I can get what is mine...when I explain the level of manipulation that was used to discourage me from getting my own attorney back then and the fact that I wanted to get away from him and puerto Rico so badly, that I agreed to anything just to get the hell out of there.
1. That I have a husband now who does love me and doesn't try to control me.
2. That I have a beautiful grand daughter who is the light of my life along with my son.
3. That I have great friends who stand by me and are finally seeing the true character of the person they held in such high regard. Wait long enough and the true character will emerge.
4. That he has someone else in his life he can manipulate now and take the focus off of me. They actually deserve each other...two people who can't keep their pants up.
5. That I am actually beginning to get over my cold.
6. I got a great nights sleep. Boy did I need it.
7. It is Wednesday and it is going to be a great day!
8. Christmas is almost here...I love Christmas! It is my favorite holiday.
9. That my son is waking up to see he has some issues and is working on them.
10. That in spite of some financial issues, my world is good.
1. That I have a husband now who does love me and doesn't try to control me.
2. That I have a beautiful grand daughter who is the light of my life along with my son.
3. That I have great friends who stand by me and are finally seeing the true character of the person they held in such high regard. Wait long enough and the true character will emerge.
4. That he has someone else in his life he can manipulate now and take the focus off of me. They actually deserve each other...two people who can't keep their pants up.
5. That I am actually beginning to get over my cold.
6. I got a great nights sleep. Boy did I need it.
7. It is Wednesday and it is going to be a great day!
8. Christmas is almost here...I love Christmas! It is my favorite holiday.
9. That my son is waking up to see he has some issues and is working on them.
10. That in spite of some financial issues, my world is good.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A new outlook
Each day is getting easier...something to be said for focusing on the positives in my life instead of dwelling on past mistakes and heartaches. It is done...I was lucky to get away and have the strength to move on. Sometimes we have to take baby steps to move away from something and then take the big challenge of standing up by yourself and running. Now I'm running...away from those who kept me down, away from those who only fed their own ego by stomping all over mine. Misery loves misery and when you are so emerged int it, it takes awhile to see there is a light at the end ofthe tunnel. The light is there and I am so close!
1. It is Sunday...I have a day off and not sure how it is going to be spent yet, but know that whatever I choose to do, it will be MY choice.
2. That the hurt in my heart is being replaced by feeling of love for myself and optimism.
3. That I have my pumpkin spice creamer this morning...yay
4. I get to listen to the sound of the waterfall in my back yard in utter silence while listening to the birds chirping around me.
5. That I went to bed early and got a good nights sleep.
6. For realizing that people come and go in your life for specific reasons and it is all good. Serves to sent then the soul if you are wise enough to be able to understand it.
7. That each day that goes by, I am stronger and a better me.
8. Clarity that I have a purpose and am making forward progress to fulfill that purpose.
9. For realizing that cutting someone loose is sometimes a necessary thing to do.
10. That hootie has not been around for a month to eat my fish! Lol
1. It is Sunday...I have a day off and not sure how it is going to be spent yet, but know that whatever I choose to do, it will be MY choice.
2. That the hurt in my heart is being replaced by feeling of love for myself and optimism.
3. That I have my pumpkin spice creamer this morning...yay
4. I get to listen to the sound of the waterfall in my back yard in utter silence while listening to the birds chirping around me.
5. That I went to bed early and got a good nights sleep.
6. For realizing that people come and go in your life for specific reasons and it is all good. Serves to sent then the soul if you are wise enough to be able to understand it.
7. That each day that goes by, I am stronger and a better me.
8. Clarity that I have a purpose and am making forward progress to fulfill that purpose.
9. For realizing that cutting someone loose is sometimes a necessary thing to do.
10. That hootie has not been around for a month to eat my fish! Lol
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Wasted Time
No longer have the desire to allow certain people to occupy space in my head or my heart. The ho with all her whatevers she keeps posting on her page to taunt me is no longer working. I am over this. You get what you deserve in life and there is a reason she doesn't get anywhere...and there is a reason he keeps getting crap as well. You can only fly by on charm and fakeness for so long. I am moving on and good riddance to the hurt and emotional crap I had been feeling. Each day is getting better and easier to just let go.
10 things I am grateful for today:
1. That I have an awesome grand daughter who brings me such joy every time I see her or hear her voice.
2. I have an incredible gallery that has afforded me opportunities to continue meeting awesome people.
3. I have three great dogs, 2 birds and 30 fish that bring me lots of joy.
4. My husband who has not gotten drunk in over a week...THANK YOU!!!
5. Old friends who have stayed in my life and those who have come back.
6. It is a beautiful day today.
7. That there is only 5 more hrs till I get to go home and get some sleep...lol
8. That I am finally moving on!
9. That I have tomorrow off...
10. I am at peace today!!!
10 things I am grateful for today:
1. That I have an awesome grand daughter who brings me such joy every time I see her or hear her voice.
2. I have an incredible gallery that has afforded me opportunities to continue meeting awesome people.
3. I have three great dogs, 2 birds and 30 fish that bring me lots of joy.
4. My husband who has not gotten drunk in over a week...THANK YOU!!!
5. Old friends who have stayed in my life and those who have come back.
6. It is a beautiful day today.
7. That there is only 5 more hrs till I get to go home and get some sleep...lol
8. That I am finally moving on!
9. That I have tomorrow off...
10. I am at peace today!!!
Friday, December 2, 2011
And finally
Well after a full week of total silence...I finally get a very short message regarding my bird. So he has been reading my messages...you know, all this could have been avoided if a week ago I would have gotten a message saying...I'm sorry! But not a word...why is it when someone has hurt someone, their response is silence...anyone who was a real friend would have assessed this situation right up front and not ignore it or me and my feelings. Back to the point, I never meant enough for even an explanation or an apology. But not focusing on that anymore. My main objective now is to get back my bird and move on. Enough of all this nonsense of dealing with emotionally inept people. More confirmation that this is a person who truly never had my best interests at heart...only his own selfish needs. And the arrogance of thinking he is above explaining or apologizing to anyone is beyond my realm of comprehension.
My 10 for today:
1. Thankful that I am 1 step closer to getting my bird back.
2. Thankful that I am another step closer to healing and closure.
3. Grateful that I have a business that requires my full attention each day to keep my mind busy and occupied.
4. Grateful that I had some help yesterday hanging the show in the gallery.
5. Thankful that one of the last voices I heard last night was that of my granddaughter saying I love you Gigi.
6. Thankful that I have a clear head this morning to organize my day.
7. Thankful that I blocked some people from my FB page and my life to avoide unnecessary stress and pain.
8. Thankful my husband hasn't been drunk in a week.
9. Thankful that my new coming grandchild is still safe, even after a close call yesterday.
10.thankful for some inner peace this morning.
My 10 for today:
1. Thankful that I am 1 step closer to getting my bird back.
2. Thankful that I am another step closer to healing and closure.
3. Grateful that I have a business that requires my full attention each day to keep my mind busy and occupied.
4. Grateful that I had some help yesterday hanging the show in the gallery.
5. Thankful that one of the last voices I heard last night was that of my granddaughter saying I love you Gigi.
6. Thankful that I have a clear head this morning to organize my day.
7. Thankful that I blocked some people from my FB page and my life to avoide unnecessary stress and pain.
8. Thankful my husband hasn't been drunk in a week.
9. Thankful that my new coming grandchild is still safe, even after a close call yesterday.
10.thankful for some inner peace this morning.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Sound of silence
So the ex thinks that by not communicating with me I will just go away....sorry, you of all people should know better than that...you arrogant idiot! You really think you don't owe me an explanation or even so much as an I'm sorry? Whatever...just glad you are no longer a part of my life.
This is really my fault because I let him back into my life. Do it once shame on you, two, three and more, it is shame on me. I should have known better than to ever let a liar and deceiver back into my life. Nothing will ever change. Once a liar, always a liar. Again I am left to have to look at myself and see where I am defunct to continue or feel the need to have these emotionally abusive people in my life.
I am working so hard at trying not to be angry and as you can obviously see from my posts here, it is not working...one would think that after 18 yrs of knowing someone, I would be worth at least an I am sorry from them. But no, not from him...he thinks is above any responsibility of having to answer to anyone. He does what he wants without any explanation or feelings what so ever, regardless of who he hurts along the way. Funny thing, all this anger from me could have been avoided if he would have had the balls to tell me himself. Too much of a coward...and the one thing I despise more than anything in this world, is being lied to.
And a message to the ho...don't get too comfortable playing housewife in my house...you are only the most recent flavor of the month...and your taunting me with your stupid, classless messages on FB, well enjoy...only shows what a skank you really are. Enjoy your time thee knowing that everything in that house was mine and I chose it, I designed it and I picked it out. Enjoy living in my surrounding and taking in all my things...my spirit will always be there everytime you look and touch something, know that it was mine. And know that everytime you are in my bed, that I was in that same one first...think you are living the high life...think again...and the deck furniture you so enjoy my view from, and pose with your roses on, know that I picked it out. Know that everytime you call my cat lamusa, that she is MY cat...I was the one that saved her, brought her kittens into this world and she was MY muse for many of my paintings that still remain in the house. She will never be your cat. Just know, you may be able to disguise a skank by putting her in different surrounding, but you will always be a skank...displayed by your your classless flaunting of posing yourself with my belongings and posting them all over FB. You may think ou are funny with your little messages, got news for you...karma will come back to you, threefold! So enjoy yourself...
My ten things I am grateful for today:
1. Knowing my ghost and spirit remains in a place where everytime someone looks at something it will serve as a reminder that to her that I was there first.
2. I am grateful that I do not have to continue living a lie with a man who is so dysfunctional and emotionally abusive and only thinks of himself and pleasuring himself, regardless of who he hurts.
3. Glad that I am cleansing myself from all his scars and emotional baggage he imprinted on me for so long.
4. Grateful that I no longer have to wonder where my husband is at night or who he is with. And that I no longer have to hear the lies and be made to feel I was the one who was imagining things, or being told I was crazy after finding love letters from a 25 yr old.
5. Thankful I no longer have to endure the slow manipulation of not being allowed to be myself.
6. Grateful that I can now raise my voice when I am angry without having someone put me down and forcing me to suppress my anger to the point where I shoved food in my mouth to stifle all the hurt I was feeling. T the point where I gained 85 lbs. that was 85 lbs of bullshit I had to swallow.
7. Thankful I am freeing myself of the ties that keep me attached to such an unhappy life.
8. Grateful that I can call you a fucking bastard without being slapped.
9. Thankful I don't have endure the flirting you did with all the women around you any longer and being told all my gut instincts were wrong. Since being away from you, I have learned to trust my gut again, and have been right on every occasion.
10. Thankful that I now see you for who you really are. You can dress up a wolf in sheeps clothing, give him money, but at the end of the day, a wolf is still a wolf.
This is really my fault because I let him back into my life. Do it once shame on you, two, three and more, it is shame on me. I should have known better than to ever let a liar and deceiver back into my life. Nothing will ever change. Once a liar, always a liar. Again I am left to have to look at myself and see where I am defunct to continue or feel the need to have these emotionally abusive people in my life.
I am working so hard at trying not to be angry and as you can obviously see from my posts here, it is not working...one would think that after 18 yrs of knowing someone, I would be worth at least an I am sorry from them. But no, not from him...he thinks is above any responsibility of having to answer to anyone. He does what he wants without any explanation or feelings what so ever, regardless of who he hurts along the way. Funny thing, all this anger from me could have been avoided if he would have had the balls to tell me himself. Too much of a coward...and the one thing I despise more than anything in this world, is being lied to.
And a message to the ho...don't get too comfortable playing housewife in my house...you are only the most recent flavor of the month...and your taunting me with your stupid, classless messages on FB, well enjoy...only shows what a skank you really are. Enjoy your time thee knowing that everything in that house was mine and I chose it, I designed it and I picked it out. Enjoy living in my surrounding and taking in all my things...my spirit will always be there everytime you look and touch something, know that it was mine. And know that everytime you are in my bed, that I was in that same one first...think you are living the high life...think again...and the deck furniture you so enjoy my view from, and pose with your roses on, know that I picked it out. Know that everytime you call my cat lamusa, that she is MY cat...I was the one that saved her, brought her kittens into this world and she was MY muse for many of my paintings that still remain in the house. She will never be your cat. Just know, you may be able to disguise a skank by putting her in different surrounding, but you will always be a skank...displayed by your your classless flaunting of posing yourself with my belongings and posting them all over FB. You may think ou are funny with your little messages, got news for you...karma will come back to you, threefold! So enjoy yourself...
My ten things I am grateful for today:
1. Knowing my ghost and spirit remains in a place where everytime someone looks at something it will serve as a reminder that to her that I was there first.
2. I am grateful that I do not have to continue living a lie with a man who is so dysfunctional and emotionally abusive and only thinks of himself and pleasuring himself, regardless of who he hurts.
3. Glad that I am cleansing myself from all his scars and emotional baggage he imprinted on me for so long.
4. Grateful that I no longer have to wonder where my husband is at night or who he is with. And that I no longer have to hear the lies and be made to feel I was the one who was imagining things, or being told I was crazy after finding love letters from a 25 yr old.
5. Thankful I no longer have to endure the slow manipulation of not being allowed to be myself.
6. Grateful that I can now raise my voice when I am angry without having someone put me down and forcing me to suppress my anger to the point where I shoved food in my mouth to stifle all the hurt I was feeling. T the point where I gained 85 lbs. that was 85 lbs of bullshit I had to swallow.
7. Thankful I am freeing myself of the ties that keep me attached to such an unhappy life.
8. Grateful that I can call you a fucking bastard without being slapped.
9. Thankful I don't have endure the flirting you did with all the women around you any longer and being told all my gut instincts were wrong. Since being away from you, I have learned to trust my gut again, and have been right on every occasion.
10. Thankful that I now see you for who you really are. You can dress up a wolf in sheeps clothing, give him money, but at the end of the day, a wolf is still a wolf.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Decorating the tree
How special...the ho is in my house...which it still is...as I own 25% of it and it will never be hers...decorating a Christmas tree taking more slutty pictures. Such class! Such class for both of them. They actually deserve each other, one ho and one ho dog!
Still trying to get past this...process, process, process...
Oh and the comment about the devil on her FB page...got news for you, he is so good at playing the role of the victim...poor me, poor me...he never does anything wrong, everyone is always out to hurt him...ask him how many people he has hurt along the way before passing judgement on me. Wait to you get to hear all the lies and deceptions!
Still trying to get past this...process, process, process...
Oh and the comment about the devil on her FB page...got news for you, he is so good at playing the role of the victim...poor me, poor me...he never does anything wrong, everyone is always out to hurt him...ask him how many people he has hurt along the way before passing judgement on me. Wait to you get to hear all the lies and deceptions!
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