The games people play....

No longer have a need to block those on my FB page...not to be taken as an open door, just should be taken as I don't care anymore as to who see what I post! Not allowing those who think they can mess with me to do so any longer.

1. Thankful for my grand daughter on her 2nd birthday.
2. For the doors that close, others open.
3. My future grandson is ok and there aren't any more problems.
4. I have a fabulous husband.
5. On Tues. I will have my bird back and my cat will be following soon.
6. My son, who I am very proud of. Doing the right thing in spite of some adversities.
7. It is Thursday!
8. Not allowing others to get inside my head who do not have my best interests at heart.
9. I AM PAINTING!!!
10. Getting stronger each day!

And painting...

I'm painting....

A new week

Imhad an incredible day yesterday as my husband and I put up Christmas decorations and just hung out together. So nice to sit back and recharge for a full week ahead. Saturday I will be going to Miami to celebrate my grand daughter's second birthday. Cannot believe it has been two years already.

I wrote my email yesterday so I will not have the last thing I say to someone be nasty. My conscious is clear. I did everything I needed to to. I can now move forward in my life with hope and love as the anger has now dissipated and been replaced with good feelings. I look forward to building a future with the love of my life knowing that I will be spending it with someone who isn't manipulating and calculating. He just is. and he just loves me, no games no secrets no lies.mfornthat I am eternally grateful.

1. To have had such an awesome day yesterday. There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
2. That I am able to to look forward to tomorrow without regret from yesterday.
3. that I still have many people in my life that I love and I wish them all happiness.
4. That I will be getting my LaMusa back, I have missed her.
5. That I will also have Meecie back.
6. That I have the ability to paint my feelings however rare those those times are right now, but soon I will be back in the studio working.
7. That my life is my own, no longer a pawn in anyone's gameplan.
8. That I can finally forgive myself for past mistakes and be able to learn from them and continue to move forward.
9. That I can forgive others, so that I can continue to move forward.
10. That this is going to be a great day, because it is my day and I get to choose how it ends.

I can see clearly now

The course of the last couple days has been an emotional roller coaster. Several emails back and forth and I finally can see what an arrogant pompous individual I was married to for so long actually is. I mustered up the courage to tell him to f#*k off. I have really had it with the head games and emotional abuse he has been playing with me for so many years. Have finally been able to see how everyone in his life are just pawns and he manipulates and moves at will. I refuse to be part of that any longer. He can keep all his paid for friends, because the true friends are beginning to see right through him as well. The man with all the secrets...the man who insists his private life is private...kept from all of those around him who should be in the know...well it is not so private when the skank is posting everything in public for all to see.

Not focusing on that anymore...I'm done! Finally! I will not allow him to be a part of my life any longer. In any capacity. Friendship is completely out ofthe question, as he has no concept of friendship...it is all a game...finally coming to terms with the fact that my 16 yr life with him was all a series of well calculated half truths and manipulations! Thank you God for allowing me to see this. It is a shame it took me so long to figure this out. I always want to believe in the good of people, but sometimes there just isn't any. I have a weak spot to believe that people are not cruel, when in fact they are. They make it a living and constant practice to deceive others and play with their feelings and emotions. I need to write one more email to him as the last thing I want him to hear from or that I need to remember saying is not something awful. That will be for me...not him...

1. Thank you for letting me see the truth...finally!
2. I am now able to move forward with a clear heart and mind that I was so right in leaving him and moving on.
3. I am almost at peace and can focus on my new life with the love of my life without the baggage of past crap that was bogging me down.
4. That the rage in my mind and my heart are being replaced with absolute and complete love for what is around me today.
5. That at my age I am still able to work through some difficult emotional stuff.
6. That I can see that I have great people around me and I get to pick and choose who stays and who goes.
7. I am no longer a prisoner to those who do not mean me well.
8. That all the noise in my head is silencing and I can listen to my heart.
9. That I can now look at the love of my life and feel guilty for thinking I destroyed another life, since it was he who destroyed mine.
10. That my eyes fill with tears of joy for all that is around me.

God...how do I make this hurt go away!!!

Victimization!!!

Wants to know why when someone does something awful to you that hurts terribly, they react as if they have been victimized when you speak up????