Computers, diets, and exercise

The newest trend here in PR is to cut the telephone wires for the copper inside. Copper is, apparently, a very hot commodity these days. With that said, I was left without phone and internet service for 2 days. I was beginning to go through withdrawals. I found a local restaurant with wireless access and was prepared to go there for dinner just so I could check my emails. But around 5:30 p.m., my service was reconnected and so was I. It got me to thinking though. How much time do I really spend on this thing and how dependent have I become on being connected? The answer to both of those questions is, way too much.

I realized that nowadays, I turn to the computer for everything. I come to the computer to pay bills from my checking account, check the weather forecast, for online shopping, food recipes, exercise planning, and even this blog has replaced my daily journal. How much is too much? In our daily lives of search and click, have we become a slave to the net? Has this caused us to become less social and spend more time at home with our online niches? In my case, definitely. I rarely venture out anymore. If I can do something online, I do it. It beats the daily hassles of traffic and interacting with a ton of people waiting in line to pay for things. If I could figure out how to go to the doctor online, I probably would. In this world of being able to access the information highway, why bother going out. I enjoy interaction with people, but on my terms. I don't like having to stand in long lines, I don't like crowds and I don't like sitting in traffic. So if those things can be avoided, can it be a bad thing? I hope not.

On another note, I need t o get back to the gym. My shoulder injury and a few other stressful things last year caused some serious weight gain. I received a call from an old friend back in Miami and she is getting married. I am so excited for her. She has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids and of course I said I would be honored until I hung up the phone and realized that that meant probably having to wear a strapless tight-fitting dress. I panicked. I am in no shape to wear anything that shows my arms or my shape. Fortunately, the wedding is not until Oct. so I have 7 months of grueling misery at the gym and dieting to whip myself back into shape. I guess this is a good thing. I really needed something to push me back into taking care of myself. This is the wake-up call.

Alternative spaces and selling out

I just got home from checking out a fellow artist's new work that had been hung in a local restaurant. Here on the east side of the island, there aren't a lot of exhibition opportunities, so local restaurants become alternative spaces to hang work. On my arrival, I looked around and saw the works and immediately thought that when I reach the ripe old age of 80, that first, I never have to hang my work on wall where people are eating and secondly, I hope that I have a lot more work than just a few watercolors of landscapes. I often feel I am torn between being an artist who sells and being an artist. The pressure of creating works that target a certain group of people isn't what I want to be doing, although that is what I am falling into. And it scares me. There are plenty of artists around that paint nice little landscapes and flowers, but that is not what I want to be. I want to be an artist that has something to say. Which means that I probably won't sell. But there seems to be a rule that if you don't sell, then you are not a success. What makes an artist successful? I think it must mean staying true to yourself and having the courage not to fall into the fallacy that success means money. I am grateful that I have a husband who is willing to take care and support me in my search for my own truth through my art. Now if I can only have faith that I will persevere.

Horse of a different Language

I have my Spanish class today. I have been struggling for 2 years now trying to get a command over the language. All my years growing up in Miami laid a foundation for this new language, but did nothing to prepare me for the challenges of living in a country where english is a second language. Grasping all the ins an outs of spanish can be quite frustrating. I recall my first encounter of a seemingly easy task. A drive-through at McDonalds. I drove up, waited for the familiar "Can I take your order" to come over the speaker. What I heard instead threw me into such a tizzy, that I panicked and jut started spewing words, mixed in english and spanish. All I wanted was a cheeseburger and a diet coke, but that was the hardest thing for me to repeat. Anyway, I ended up with some combo, that I really never even wanted. I soon learned that the easiest way for me to order in the future, was just just to get the combos. No special orders. I have discovered that the people behind the mike are really not equipped to take special orders and that if you have a dietary concern about mayo, too bad. Everyone here eats mayo, and lots of it. I just throw the top of the bun away and eat the burger folded in half with one bun that isn't doused in mayo. Through the years, I have come to realize, that most people here in PR understand english, they just don't feel comfortable speaking it. Living here has taught me some new lessons in humility. Whether I wanted to learn or not. I am basically a control freak who likes everything just so, I guess I am a true Virgo, but I have learned that I have to step out of my comfort zone and adapt to my new surroundings. Life here is not easy, but the people are fabulous and the island is full of beauty. The things one in the states take for granted are luxuries here. Home Depots on every corner does not exist here. It is a good 45 min. drive for me to get to one here, on a good day without a ton of traffic. Roads here are quite different. Because of the mountains, there is usually only one road to take to get anywhere and everyone else is trying to get to the same place as you are, at the same time. If there is an accident, you can wait on the road for hours and not go anywhere. That explains all the needs for people who drive with stocked coolers in their car. An accident is cause for an all out party in the middle of the road. They turn up the stereos in their cars, open the doors and sit on the hoods, and wait for the accident to clear. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade! We finally got a Compusa here, of course it is right across from our Home Depot. But it is progress. I remember when it was being built, and I saw the big Compusa sign announcing its arrival. I was ecstatic. Something from home. Starbucks, now that is a true luxury here. It was 2 years before one came here. Before that, I would have my friends stateside send me care packages that included my favorite java brew. Of course the closest Starbucks is an hour drive, but at least I know it is there and fortunately my husband works right around the corner and is able to pick up my blend each week. I have become a big fan of online shopping now. It is much easier for me to just click and pay, and in a few days, I have my order. Barring of course that the postman hasn't decided to take the week off for some holiday excursion. Or that he hasn't forgotten to leave me my pickup slip and then my packages wait endlessly in the box of doom in the back of the post office until someone decides to send me a final notice telling me my package is being returned. I laughed the first time that happened, how can I get a final notice when I never received the first one? When I walk into the post office now, the guy behind the counter just automatically goes into the back looking for my package. Art stores, well that is really something that doesn't exist here. Not even a Michaels. Everything has to be shipped and if you need anything that is now considered hazardous, well you have to do without. If I were a rich person, I would open an art supply store here. There are tons of artists, but no supplies. Ok, well there is one or two, but what they carry is mostly for students and crafters. The selection isn't very large and you have to settle for student grade W&N paints in only the basic of colors. But you learn to adapt. You combine trips to the states with restocking art supplies and coffee and continue to hold on to the hope that one day someone will put a store on the corner that isn't Wallyworld or Walgreen's.

Dead birds, confused memories

One of my finches died. She was 5 years old and I hope to think she had a good life. She had two babies, which are now 4 years old. Death has been such a huge part of my life this past year. The passing of my uncle, my cousin and several others, I find myself questioning everything I do. My perfect little life just doesn't seem so important anymore. My artwork just doesn't seem to complete me any longer. I feel the need to change and go into a new direction. But I also feel the need to bring something more into the work. I am working on introducing encaustics into my paintings.